How to Keep a Child Contact Diary: Recording Handovers and Parenting Arrangements

When parents separate, keeping track of collections, drop-offs, agreed arrangements and last-minute changes can become surprisingly difficult.

A child contact diary is a simple way to maintain a dated record of important events involving parenting arrangements.

It doesn't need to be complicated. The aim is to keep accurate information that can be referred back to when needed, while keeping your child's wellbeing at the centre of everything.

This guide focuses on practical record-keeping for separated parents in England and Wales.

A child contact diary is a record of important information relating to a child's time with each parent.

It might include collection and drop-off times, agreed schedule changes, missed arrangements and significant communications about parenting time.

Some parents use a notebook, spreadsheet or notes app. Others prefer a dedicated record-keeping app.

The method matters less than keeping records accurate, consistent and easy to understand.

A diary should complement, not replace, any parenting plan, formal agreement or court order.

When something important happens during a handover, consider recording:

• The date and time.
• The agreed collection or drop-off time.
• The actual time the handover happened.
• The agreed location and any relevant changes.
• Any significant communication about the arrangement.
• Relevant facts about what occurred.
• Whether a change was agreed and how it was resolved.

You don't need to document every ordinary handover.

Focus on information that could be useful to refer back to, rather than recording routine details unnecessarily.

Parenting plans sometimes need to change.

A parent might be delayed by traffic, a child might be unwell, or both parents might agree to swap days.

When changes occur, record the original arrangement alongside what actually happened.

Where possible, distinguish between:

• A change both parents agreed to.
• An unexpected delay.
• A missed arrangement.
• An event where the reason remains unknown.

Avoid assuming someone deliberately ignored an agreement unless you have direct evidence.

Accurate records should describe events, not speculate about another person's intentions.

The following example is fictional.

This example records the timeline without making accusations or assumptions.

Compare that with: "The other parent deliberately kept me waiting because they wanted to cause problems."

The second version assumes a motive that may not be established by the facts.

If a significant arrangement is confirmed through text messages or emails, keep the original communication where it can be retrieved.

Useful habits include:

• Keeping messages in their original form.
• Recording the date and context of relevant conversations.
• Avoiding unnecessary editing of screenshots.
• Organising important information chronologically.
• Protecting children's personal information.
• Sharing records only when appropriate and lawful.

Do not access another person's private accounts or collect information through improper means.

A diary should help parents stay organised, not increase conflict or involve children in disagreements.

Avoid asking children to gather information, repeat conversations or take sides.

If a child shares something concerning, respond calmly. Distinguish what the child reported from events you personally witnessed.

If you have concerns about a child's safety, seek appropriate professional help. A personal diary is not a substitute for safeguarding support.

Citizens Advice recommends keeping a diary where parents are struggling to resolve problems with child arrangements.

A clear record can help you explain when arrangements didn't work and what happened.

However, a diary does not automatically prove that an event occurred, guarantee that a court will accept its contents or change an existing court order.

If arrangements repeatedly break down, consider independent legal advice or appropriate family mediation support.

Any existing court order must be considered separately from informal arrangements. You can find guidance on changing or enforcing a child arrangements order on GOV.UK.

For broader guidance on recording co-parenting conversations, agreements and communications, see our guide: How to Document Co-Parenting Interactions.